Walking in Darkness
John 8:12, NIV, “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Darkness-No Light
Small town Alabama to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas was quite a change. We had made reservations in a motel in the general vicinity of the hospital which was recommended by the hospital. The motel as I remember in my mind’s eye was painted black. Most likely that wasn’t the case, but I was in a dark place mentally. Everything was dark, hopeless and there was no light in my life.
Admitted
The next morning we went to the hospital. After examining our daughter, they determined that she should be admitted because she had a low grade fever most likely caused by the Foley Catheter. Our doctor was from South America and her assistant as well. They spoke very little English. They could communicate in Spanish to each other, but we were in the dark regarding their diagnosis and treatment plans.
Heartbreaking
As we walked down the pediatric hall in the hospital, it was heartbreaking. There were children of all ages mostly without hair. Many were alone because their parents had jobs and other children so they left their kids. The majority of the children had the IV in their heads. Then the nurses taped paper cups over the IV on their head to protect it. The smell was of burned refried beans. Many of the families were from south of the border and they cooked refried beans morning, noon and night. Forty years later that smell brings a flood of unpleasant memories.
Bold and Outspoken
Our hospital room was shared with a girl about our daughter’s age. Both parents were there when we arrived. As soon as we got our daughter settled in her bed, a nurse came in to start her IV. He stuck her 1,2,3 times. I couldn’t control my emotions so I went into the bathroom. The mother of the roommate came in and talked with me. She encouraged me to be bold for my child. She told me I had every right to tell that nurse to find someone else that could start the IV. I did and realized that I have control and I needed to be bold and outspoken for the well being of my child.
Darker Lives
My mind was very dark, but as I looked around, there were children and adults whose lives were darker. To see those kids alone was so sad. The couple in the room with us loudly argued and disagreed on everything. I realized that even though we thought our daughter was dying, we were very fortunate. We had so much support and love from family and friends. We received cards and letters from all over the country. There was no internet or social media, but word of mouth. Family and friends shared with family and friends the situation which in the 70’s was very rare that a child had cancer.
Bumpy Road
It was a bumpy road the next few days. Tests and more tests were done. IV’s would blow often. There was a concern that the tumor had blocked the nerves to her bladder. Shortly thereafter, they removed the Catheter and became very concerned. Time went slowly along and the doctor’s were ready to put the Catheter back in and thankfully one of the doctors advised them to wait longer. We celebrated the little things and when her bladder worked it was a huge relief. All of us were tired and my husband and I questioned why we were putting our daughter through this torture when there was so little time left in her life.
I John 1:6, NIV, “God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.”
Thankful
I am so thankful that I can walk in the Light of the Lord. There have been many hardships since this, but God has taught me to praise Him and He always provides a way, gives me strength and comfort. If you are walking in darkness and do not have a personal relationship with God, now is the time to accept Him and live in union with Him. The Bible never promises our lives will be without hardships, but He promises He will be with you always.
Lauren Daigle Rescue
Paula Wallace
For additional reading by treading water writers:
https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2018/10/22/building-your-house-on-the-rock/
Paula, bless you for sharing your story in order to help others as You glorify God. Such courage!🙏