Traumatic Grief

Traumatic grief began in the Garden of Eden.  Genesis 4:7-10 “If you do well, will you not be accepted? If you do not do well, sin lies at the door, and its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass when they were in the field, that Cain rose against Abel his brother and killed him. The the LORD said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” and he said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” And He said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the ground.”

Murder Traumatic grief

The earth is still in its infancy. One family inhabits the land. They are East (outside) of Eden, tilling the ground to survive. Two brothers. Sibling rivalry is already evident. Jealousy. Two sons of earth’s first couple. Adam and Eve know the difference between then and now with all too much clarity. Painfully aware of the curse they have passed to every subsequent generation because of their disobedience. (Genesis 3:16-19)

Family, even in this family, is far from Norman Rockwell idyllic life. Now, the curse of death finds its way into their family. The eldest brother murders the younger brother in a fit of rage. Anger with God finds its expression in the taking of the life of his own kin. (Genesis 4:4-6) Death is real, raw, and gut wrenching. This is the death that had been foretold when the command not to eat from the tree was given.

Screams of the heart and mind

I try to wrap my mind around this. This traumatic event had a devastating effect on the first family. The loss of a child cannot be comprehended regardless of their age. A mother and father standing at the hole opened in the earth with the lifeless body of their precious gift from God lying there. The mind screams like the painting by Edvard Munch. The guilt of the eldest brother complicated by his lies and denial of any knowledge of the event.

The dawning of the reality of death is a certainty for mankind. Even the earth felt the pain of this despicable act of aggression. Who knew blood could cry out even though soaked into the soil of the earth and refused to yield its fruit to the murderer. (Genesis 4:11-12) The consequences continued as Cain is banished from family and home by God Himself. (Genesis 4:12b-14)

Vengeance

Abel’s words in life are not recorded but his very life’s blood cries out from the ground and God hears. It heralds a widening and rising tide of death for the earth became so corrupt and evil the Lord would destroy it with a flood leaving once again only one family unit to populate the earth.

Today’s Trauma

Traumatic death is defined as a “death that occurs without warning; if it is untimely, if it involves violence, if there is damage to the loved one’s body…..” These are homicides, suicides, MVA’s, accidental death, and many other types of death. In our small community, we have experienced far too many of these. We rally around the families initially and then, we go back to life as if nothing has happened save the social media reminders by the family of the significant dates of the person’s life as the years go by and they are still reeling from the loss.

“Moving Forward”

I wonder, how did the first family deal with the death of the firstborn and then the loss by distance of the second. Did they ever fully recover? My suspicion is they did not. We know they had another son, Seth, who became the line from which the Savior would come. Adam and Eve knew this was true, but even knowing the Word does not always ease the pain. It provides hope but the heartache we were not created for remains.

Lessons

So what can we glean from the tilling of the soil of God’s Word about traumatic death?

First, the blood of our loved ones cries out to the LORD for justice and HE HEARS!!!

Secondly, He does not ignore the cries! Justice may not happen in two verses as in scripture but happen it does! Be patient as you wait on the Father who loves your loved one more than you!

Thirdly, God keeps His promises! Abel may well have been the chosen for the line of Messiah but God provided another! Satan did not win! His head is crushed!

Lastly, God gave Adam and Eve a glimpse into the future as they saw several generations follow the birth of Seth. He provided proof to them that a redeemer would indeed come through them.

“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, so also death was passed on to all men because all sinned……….Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the fee gift came to all men, resulting in justification.” (Romans 5:12, 18)

Traumatic death witnessed

Jesus’ mother witnessed the traumatic death of her firstborn Son. Jesus took care of her even as He was dying by telling His disciple John that His precious mother was now his responsibility. He knew His death was the sword that would pierce her heart for the rest of her days. There would be no “getting over” all she saw, heard, smelled, and felt that dark, dark day. Jesus was torn apart by her tears. His compassion knew no bounds then or now.

When I Cry by Marshall Hall, Guy Penrod, and Wes Hampton – YouTube

 

Father,

For every one whose blood cries out to You we thank You that You hear and You provide justice on their behalf no matter how young or old. Thank you that Your promises are true and never thwarted.  For Your compassion to us in our grief we thank you. Thank you for Your redemption and for providing us a way back to the Garden. Amen

TED TALK “Young Widows club-Moving Forward (15 mins)

 

Additional reading:

Sin-A Crouching Tiger

https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2017/08/25/sin-a-crouching-tiger/