Complicated Grief
Grief and loss https://youtu.be/9cQaUZrUYBY
My Complicated Friend Job
My buddy Job and I have a lot in common and not in a good way! This man knew grief and lots of it. Scripture just states all the losses and gives only three verses to his reaction.
Job 1:20-22 Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.” In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
Let me just say, I do not come close to Job in his handling of his complicated grief. Worship? I doubt the Lord would call my initial response to loss, worship!
It’s Complicated
What is complicated grief? The medical community labels grief as complicated when the individual grieving develops depression, PTSD, or may not even exhibit symptoms of grief at all. They even give it a diagnosis code. (I wonder sometimes at my chosen profession sensibilities.)
Complicated grief happens when one faces multiple losses in quick succession or multiple losses in different areas of life. Job qualifies! The loss of all his children, his livelihood, his home, and his health. He received little support, compassion, or understanding from his wife, and after just a week of mourning his friends began giving unwelcome advice. Really??? A WEEK??? The wife I can cut some slack for she experienced the losses too but she failed to honor God as Job did. I am more like her. Unfortunately.
Questions about grief
Job had some questions for God. He had some, “What’s the point of living?” thoughts. He even publicly demonstrated his grief. Of all the nerve–allow others to see you hurt………..
Yes, others want you to “get over it,” to “move on.” Grief is a reminder of our mortality. It is difficult to witness and there is little anyone can do to ease the suffering of the one in the throes of griefs dark night.
Job wrestled with God through his grief. He listened to his “friends.” (With friends like these who needs enemies?) Job asked hard questions of the LORD. He ranted and raved about the futility of life and his sorrow and its purpose. When he was spent, God spoke in His still small voice. His answer a reminder of our place in the universe and God’s immense love for us and His desire to share with us His purpose. He does demand our humility.
Read Job 39:19-25 (Really read all of chapters 38-42)
Struggle with grief
This wrestle with God allowed Job to mourn deeply and to search the mind of God and the LORD rewarded his honest inquiries. The LORD restored Job’s losses when he PRAYED for his friends!!!! This is our lesson from scripture of how to deal with multiple losses in our lives when they come unrelentingly or spaced out over time. Grief adds up and we can become undone.
I know this all too well. My life has been a study of loss. It began at the age of six and continues even to today as I received word of another loss. I have felt the battle for the soul of those I love on the precipice of death and the grave. I have witnessed the last breaths of far too many I love and said my earthly goodbyes standing at the grave. Jesus too felt this battle between heaven and hell for the souls of man, stood at the tomb of his friends and family, and said goodbye to those he loved. Jesus has been tempted in ALL ways just as we are. He overcame every temptation and today He intercedes for us at the right hand of God the Father for the war is FINISHED!!!! (Romans 8:34) He knows our weaknesses. (Hebrews 4:15-16)
Grief is complicated.
Grief is a gift you must give yourself. Give yourself time to feel what you feel! Do it sooner rather than later. Jesus wept too! It has been said, “Great love demands great grief.” I believe this is true. Grief can take years not weeks or days. YEARS! We truly are not hardwired for grief. In fact,we were hardwired (in computer language) for the Garden, Paradise, Heaven. We must struggle to survive grief and this world and all its brokenness and pain and suffering, and death. The struggle yields growth when done under the watchful eye of God the Father. He is the God who sees! Watch for Him watching as You read through Scripture and as you go through your day. Not one tear falls that He does not keep! (Psalm 56:8-9)
Grief is a normal human response to loss
Are you grieving? Go! Go to the throne of God and ask your questions. He is a big God and He can handle your questions, your anger, your lack of understanding, and He will answer you! His Word is written by real people with real problems. Scripture does not sugar coat the failures of men but lays them out for us all to see. We all grieve because we are all human. A time is coming when He will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more crying, death, sorrow, pain, or any of this worlds losses!!! (Revelation 21:4-5) Can I get an AMEN?
There Will Be A Day by Jeremy Camp YouTube lyrics video
Yvonne Jones
