A Grief Like No Other- Death of a Child

John 19:25-27, 30  Now there stood by the cross of Jesus. His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple who He loved (John) standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!”  Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished.!”  And bowing His head He gave up His spirit.

Grief from a Broken Heart

Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is at the foot of the cross.  She has not left her Son’s side throughout His ordeal. She is covered in His blood.  Her face streaked with tears. Her heart screams silently. She clings to His feet. She is watching His precious life ebb away and she is powerless to stop it!  None of her other children are with her!!!! Her only support is her sister, and two others. She has given her life to protect and serve this child of hers and taken the insults hurled at her with grace.  But this? This is too much to bear. She knew this would come but she did not know she would have to see it in all its horror. (Luke 2:33-35)

Grief too much to bear

I attended a funeral of a young man recently.  A life with so much promise, lost. A family celebrated his life without his sweet Mama.  Her grief too much to bear in public. John, “the Beloved,” takes Mary home to grieve in private.  I can almost hear her sobs of anguish. She dons her mourning clothes. She isolates herself. We know Jesus will rise in three days and He did.  But, Mary has had her Son ripped from this earth with a final cry of “It is finished.” He is done……Her Son could raise the dead child of another but who could raise hers after three days?  Did she forget about Lazarus being dead four days and rising at Jesus command? I think, in her loss, she did. The mind goes numb and logic flies out the window when you watch your child die.  It is not suppose to be this way!!!!!  Parents are supposed to die FIRST!

Worst Grief

The death of one’s child is considered by professionals as the worst form of grief.  It does not matter if the child is minutes, days, weeks, or years old or still in utero (miscarriage or stillbirth).    It is most painful and if you ask those who have experienced this kind of death they will tell you it required years to “accept” the “new normal.”  There is no “getting over it,” no healing, no recovery, just a dreadfully slow crawl back to reality and life loses its luster. Death, for the parent, cannot come soon enough to ease the guilt, pain, sadness, and utter heartbreak.  The only hope these parents have is found in the Promise of God, their child being with Jesus the very instant they take their last breath.

Mothers and fathers who walk with their children from cradle to grave are the most courageous people I know.  Their strength only comes by God’s  provision. They carry about them a cloak of peace. Theirs is a hope only faith in the promises of God can bring.  They run quickly to stand beside others facing this daunting circumstance. It’s an experience of deep pain and suffering binds them together. Life is forever bittersweet.

Blessed

My list of friends and family having this kind of grief has grown as I get older.  I cannot fully understand their grief, try as I might. What I see they need most is my prayers and for me to not forget important dates in the life of their child and to remember their hearts still weep.  

Mary, the Mother of Jesus:  What a remarkable woman she is.  No wonder God chose her to be the mother of His only Son.  She went from the cradle to the cross and will be in the front of the crowd as He receives His Crown.  She will bow, but Jesus will call her and every other mother who walked this broken road, Blessed. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl2sqdfD2Q0

I’ll See You Again by Westlife 

 

Compassionate Friends link (grief support group for parents who have “lost” a child.

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/

 

Father in Heaven,

Thank You for being near the brokenhearted.  This life we live You never intended; So You sent Jesus, YOUR SON, to die for us and restore us and bring us Home to the Garden.  Thank you the children are in Your presence the moment they are out of ours. Your grace still amazes me! Give us compassion for our friends as they grieve deep and long.  Help us remember You too suffered this loss.

Further Reading

Mother’s Heart-Place of Pondering

https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2019/05/04/heart-place-of-pondering/