Finding Peace

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26 (ESV)

Have you found it difficult to find your peace in the times we are currently living in? I know it has certainly been that for me. The last few months, I have found this verse from the book of Numbers coming to my heart daily. I have needed to feel Him near me.

No Matter

Lately, I have felt myself sinking and having a disappointment come over me I can’t escape. I feel like no matter how strong I am, how much I hold it together, and the good I try to do daily, at the end of the day, I wonder, did it matter? I think we all feel like this when we are working so hard, putting the time in, but we don’t see change. We feel like we are spinning our wheels and the work we are doing is unproductive.

What I have learned about life, is it is unpredictable, it won’t go like you planned, and just when you think you’ve made it, you are quickly reminded of how unpredictable this world is. I have prayed for the Lord to take this virus away so that we can all go back to our normal. I get frustrated because God hasn’t answered my prayer yet. But if I have learned anything over the last few years, it is to remain faithful even if He doesn’t answer my prayer.

Not Remaining Faithful

Times like these remind me of Daniel 3: 17-18. “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (NLT) The words “even if” nudge at me when things don’t go the way I pray. I remember the night I was told my mom would not make it. I remember how hard I prayed and how much I loved my mom. Not having her here with me just wasn’t an option. I knew she would be fine until the moment she wasn’t. I was mad that God didn’t answer my prayer and I didn’t remain faithful in my “even if” moment.

Remain Faithful

Later on, I did find the blessings in this. After watching Sadie Robertson Huff’s bible study, Fire and Faithfulness, this is exactly what she pointed out. Even if God doesn’t do it, remain faithful. (Fire and Faithfulness) Losing my mom grew me into a person who could figure out and learn from past mistakes. What didn’t work for me in how I handled losing my mom? Not having faith when God didn’t do what I asked him to do is what did not work in my life. So using this information helped me change my thinking. God knows what I am asking, he hears me, but if he doesn’t answer, I need to trust him and remain faithful.

Special Moments

My grandson will be making his arrival into this world any day. Excited to meet Baker Gray is an understatement. We can’t wait! I woke up Thursday morning super sad. It finally hit me, I won’t be in the hospital to meet him. When I thought about how special the moment meeting my granddaughter was and how I am going to miss this, it sent me into a spiral. I told my husband, Nicky, I was considering breaking my leg or faking an appendicitis to get into the hospital. That is how heartbroken I am.

We all have had so many letdowns this year with all that is going on in our world. I have read heartbreaking stories of families who can’t be with their family members who are in the hospital. It is just wrong. It shouldn’t be this way. The only way I am getting through some of this “stuff” is to find my peace in all of it and remember how the Lord has taken care of my family and me and been so gracious to us.

Think about the times in your life where God didn’t answer your prayer. Look back at the blessings that were revealed. Play and listen to the song by Kari Jobe, “The Blessing,” and you will be blessed. So this week, let’s remind ourselves even if He doesn’t answer our prayers, stay faithful. You see, I will get to meet my grandson. It will be through Facetime, but to see his face for the first time will be just as special.

Counting My Blessings,

Susan Browder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp6aygmvzM4  Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes The Blessing