Glorious Unfolding by Susan Browder

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6

Deuteronomy 31:6 has been Jacob’s favorite bible verse for many years now.  It has been put on t-shirts and bracelets to support him through his injury.  As I look back in my journal on day 44, I see that our prayers were for his right side to get stronger, vision to improve, brain to heal (short term memory, processing, retaining new information), speech to improve, his right side of his face to correct, and to pass the swallow test that he has failed 2 times already.  I also have my praises written down in my journal.

The praises are that his right arm is moving, smiling, walking better with a cane and assistance, speech improving, and going to the game room with his brother, Nick.

https://www.facebook.com/nick.browder.1/videos/10204169341606088/

The next day, day 45, we got a huge praise.  Jacob passed the swallow test.  He got to EAT!  At this time he was able to eat soft foods and on a pureed diet.  After all of this excitement, we were told something that pumped us up even more.  The doctor walked in and said, “Get ready and start making all necessary arrangements for care because y’all are going home in 3 days!”  I was excited and terrified at the same time.  In my mind I was excited to get Jacob home, but then I wondered why we were being sent home?  Was it because they had done all they could do for Jacob and this is it?  I marched myself down to the conference room and busted up in there crying.  My words were something like this.  “So when you tell me that you are sending us home, what you are really saying is that this is as good as Jacob is going to get, so here you go!”  As I kept crying and rambling at what a huge error in judgement they were making and how wrong they were, the nurse looked up at me and said, “I think you misunderstand, so please let us explain.”  The doctor then said, ”We are only sending him home because you and your family are capable of caring for him.  We see how you all push him and do not cut him any slack.  We know that you all will continue to help him get better.”  As I look at them very embarrassed and say, “Oh….”  What else could I say? So I smiled and quietly backed out of the room.

Day 48 finally came.  So many nurses and doctors came by to see us off.  Jacob was dressed in his western button down, belt buckle, and cowboy boots.  We left in a wheelchair and with a cane.  Walking out of Jacob’s hospital room, I turned for one last look at our life for the past 48 days and it all flashed in my mind of what we all had been through.  My heart was so full.  I felt so grateful to God more at this time for letting me take my son home.

“The Lord is greater than the giants you face.” 1 John 4:4  

The ride home was bitter sweet.  Jacob just stared out the window and was so peaceful.  As we turned down our street, we see a small crowd and a big sign that said, “Welcome Home Jacob.”  As we get inside and start unpacking, I see many things that my friends have done.

I walked into a clean house and food for us.  Sweet friends had loaned us a shower chair, a food puree, and a bed rail.

As things settled down for the day, Jacob started feeling like he was finally at home.  Whatever he asked for, he got.  His first day home, he asked for a milkshake probably around 5 times.  He got it.  For supper, he asked for crab legs.  He got pureed crab legs.  That night he asked for a Reese’s Cup, so Nicky pureed his first Reese’s.

As we put Jacob in his bed this night, I scan the room seeing the IV pump, the feeding pump machine, the bed rails up, and all of the medicine bottles, and even though I am overwhelmed, all I can think in this moment is that I am his mama and I am not going to stop until every tube, pill, puree machine, shower bench, speech therapist, Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Doctor, Neurologist, wheelchair and cane is gone and until God restores Jacob the way he made him.

“For this child I have prayed.” 1 Samuel 1:27

Counting My Blessing,

Susan Browder