Today we have another guest writer. Thank you Shirley Logsdon for sharing yourself we us.

BROKEN
What does it mean to be broken? Webster’s Dictionary says it means splintered (broken in fragments); uneven (plowed ground); intersected with hills and valleys (broken country); interrupted (broken sleep); unsettled (pbroken weather); crushed (broken spirit); subdued (broken colt). While you may identify with one or more of these definitions of broken, I’d like to focus here on “crushed”.
Have you lost your job (I did), your spouse, your health, wealth or possessions? When disaster comes your way, how do you respond? Feeling sorry for yourself is unhealthy, and retaliation can be harmful to others and get you in trouble. I have found to be dependent on God is best. He will bear you up under the heavy load you put on Him. He will hold you up to the point where everyone will think you’re handling your hardship well when it’s actually God who’s carrying you through.
It can be difficult not to gloat over something you have that someone else also wants. I would like to work. My job is not to envy others who are working when I would also like to be gainfully employed. instead, I need to focus on finding God’s choice of a job that matches my skills with the needs of the employer.
If we turn to Scripture, we see lots of examples of what it’s like to be broken. Jacob, Hannah, Esther, David, Job, Jonah, Jesus, the woman caught in adultery, Peter and Paul all had great hardship and anguish of soul during their lives. Today I’d like to put Hannah under the microscope. The story is in I Samuel chapter 1.
Hannah’s whole family (Elkanah, the husband; Peninnah and all her children, wife and kids; and Hannah, additional wife) were going to Shiloh (about 12 miles) to the annual feast they attended there. On arrival, Elkanah worshiped and sacrificed an offering to the Lord on behalf of his family, with the help of the sons of Eli the priest. Then the family had a meal, eating a portion of the animal just sacrificed. He dished out portions for one of his two wives, Peninnah, and her children; then he gave Hannah, his other wife, a bigger portion out of his great love for her. While everyone dived in, Hannah’s food was uneaten. Peninnah, who had lots of children, had a nasty habit of making fun of Hannah, who had been unable to conceive. Have you ever been in such mental turmoil that you, as Hannah did, poured yourself out to God in prayer to the point of skipping meals? This had happened before. She went off away from her family, grieving silently, crying bitterly, with God alone hearing her desperate cries for a son. Eli, the priest, looked on. He thought she was drunk! When Eli gently suggested that she stop drinking, Hannah explained to him she had not been drinking but praying earnestly to God about her heavy burden. How wonderful it is to be able to articulate your burden in the hearing of God and others, as appropriate. Eli didn’t know what her particular burden was, but now told Hannah, “Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.” (I Samuel 1:17)
The beautiful resolution was that God gave Hannah the son she desired of Him, and she in turn gave him to the Lord to be raised by Eli. Each year she would visit her son when the family came to Shiloh. Each year she would bring him a new coat.
What happens when the outcome is not so positive? Hannah received the blessing of conception and the son for which she agonized in prayer. I identify with Hannah during her desperate cries to God for a son. I also wanted a child. In my case, I didn’t get the whole package. 25 years ago, I conceived a child, and now I am living in deferred gratification mode, waiting patiently until God calls me home so I can meet my child. I’m sure the angels are doing a better job at raising my child than I ever could. This was a whopping big hurt at the time, and it still stings if I dwell on it. I have a daily choice to make: Love God and the husband He gave me, or reject one or both. I have chosen to follow the advice of David the psalmist when he said, “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)

Once more, Hannah’s story is meaningful to me because I lost my job last year. To be truthful, I have lost two jobs, the first one was over 20 years ago, the next one was less than ten years ago. In both instances, I felt crushed. As I reflect on Hannah, her response to childlessness is refreshing. Peninnah seemed to have a problem of gloating over her being mother of several children. Hannah might have struggled with feeling God had overlooked blessing her, despite Elkanah’s beautiful example of expressing his love for her in tangible ways.
Hannah knew that she had been created by God. Since He created her uniquely, she could go to God in prayer and expect Him to hear her. When Hannah put into words her faith in the living God to solve her problem, Eli recognized her faith and blessed her with words Hannah had longed to hear. “God has heard your prayer.” Now, no matter the outcome, Hannah’s burden had shifted from her to God.
When I lost these two jobs, I picked myself up and remembered I am God’s adopted child. He created me and He loves me. Losing jobs does not change my status as redeemed by grace. I still have skills and I intend to use them for God’s glory, honing them for whatever future employer may be out there, picking up new skills along the way.
May we all pray as Reinhold Niebuhr did when he said, “God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things than cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”