Angry With God–Love Anyway
Psalms 145:8 NKJV, “The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. “
Have you ever been angry with God? I mean so angry that you stop communicating with Him? Prayer life comes to a halt. The Bible sits on the table unopened. The mind is obsessed with Him, but you are trying to forget Him. So angry that you consider never attending church again? Questions go unanswered like ‘why God?’ or ‘how could You allow this to happen?’
Intestinal Blockage
Ten years had gone by since my daughter was declared cancer free. Life had been ‘normal’ with school, activities and sports. Then one day Amy started vomiting, and I assumed it was a virus. She couldn’t hold anything. Even a swallow of water came right back up. The pain was severe. The pediatrician decided after a couple of days to put her in the hospital in Demopolis to give her fluids. She showed no signs of improvement and she was transported to Children’s Hospital in Birmingham.
When it’s not fair-Love Anyway
It was November, about two weeks before Thanksgiving and a Saturday night. The doctor explained Amy had an intestinal blockage as a result of scar tissue and needed surgery. After the surgery and we were admitted to a room, Joe brought my suitcase and he handed me my Bible. He said “I thought you might want this”. I took the Bible and set it down. Every time I looked at it on the counter I would get mad. I was fuming inside because I felt this wasn’t fair. Hadn’t Amy been through enough. How could You, God, allow this to happen to her?
So Many Issues- Love Anyway
We spent three weeks in the hospital. Amy’s body didn’t seem to respond to the surgery and the doctor was puzzled. Thanksgiving in the hospital was hard. Amy couldn’t eat and the thoughts of our family getting together without us was sad. Everyday made my anger towards God even worse. The Sunday after Thanksgiving the doctor sent us home. Amy got up Monday morning and went to school like nothing had ever happened, but I had so many issues.
Walk Away
A couple of weeks later I went to see my pastor. I was brutally honest with him about my feelings. “It would be easier right now for me to walk away from the church and from God than to struggle to justify what God has allowed to happen to my child,” I told him. That was how I felt.
God Has Compassion –Loves Anyway
Lamentations 3:22, NKJV, “Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.”
Soon after Christmas, I could no longer carry this anger. I fell on my face before God, crying, screaming and confessing my anger and frustration through it all. God was so loving, forgiving and kind as I confessed. He already knew my anger and what I was thinking. I didn’t surprise Him with my words. He loved me anyway.
Be Mindful of the Things of God–Love Anyway
Through the years I have heard people say a person should never be angry with God. People voice their opinions that a person should never question God. In Matthew 16, Peter rebuked Jesus when He told the disciples that He must suffer and die.
Matthew 16:23, “But He turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.’”
Peter learned from the rebuke. He became the leader of the church in Acts. I believe Jesus understands our feelings. Yes, it is probably not wise to be angry with God, but God is our Heavenly Father. In contrast, He loves us and has great compassion towards what we suffer. As humans on earth, we don’t often see things through the eyes of God.
Learning Obedience
Hebrews 5:8, “Though He was God’s Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered.”,
Jesus set an example for us all through His obedience. Learning to obey and trust God is a life lesson in which I have certainly struggled. For me, trust has been a huge issue. He has been faithful to me and I am still learning to totally depend on Jesus, not the things of men. Honestly, there have been many more hardships and struggles, but I’ve not experienced the anger. I’m learning to lean on and trust God. I still question at times the why in my life and the lives of others, but through the why I am seeking God’s purpose and His glory in the circumstance.
He Knows
Do you have anger or resentment towards God? Have the circumstances in your life created a hard heart? Do you attempt to bury the pain? Remember God loves you and He knows. He knows how you feel. The Father knows what you are thinking. He knows your heart. Jesus knows! Talk to Him. Confess it even if it is amid screaming and tears. Allow Him to wrap His loving arms around you, comfort you and forgive you.
Paula Wallace
https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2018/12/21/on-the-run/
https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2018/12/21/on-the-run/
