Contention Defined
Contention. The Bible has a LOT to say about contention and being contentious. Sadly, it mostly is associated with women. Women are often known as argumentative, gossips, instigators, sarcastic, and busy bodies. Contention is the opposite of peace. We set the mood of our homes. You have heard the saying: “If mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy; if daddy ain’t happy don’t nobody care.” What a sad commentary on our control seeking behaviors and the atmosphere that surrounds us enveloping those we say we love.
Proverbs has eleven verses dealing with being contentious. (Proverbs 18 has four). A contentious person is described as a dripping faucet and that it would be better to live in a corner of a hut than in a palace with a contentious woman. Contention is a result of pride and falls from the lips of a fool. (Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 17:4, Proverbs 18:6,18,19,21, Proverbs 19:13, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 22:10, Proverbs 23:29) Other words used by the writers of Proverbs for contention are: argumentative, prating, foolish, scoffer, angry, spiteful, strife, quarrelsom, and prideful.
Prime Example
I have been contentious. My daughter tells me all the time I am the most stubborn human being she has ever met. Not a glowing compliment at all. She says I won’t bend or listen. I think I am sticking to what I believe to be right, but the truth in most cases is I am being narrow minded and resisting change that is inevitable. So, how do I remedy this?
Be Different
In the new video series, The Chosen, Jesus tells His disciples to “get used to different!” I do not like different. I want things to stay the same even if it isn’t working because it is familiar and I feel more in control! Yes, contention rears its ugly head because we want CONTROL or to be right! Jesus calls us to be different. Different without contention! (Titus 3:9) We cannot shove faith down the throat of someone else! Because, faith is the substance of things hoped for and yet unseen! (I Thessalonians 2:2) Jesus simply stated facts (John 3:16, John 14:6) and let others decide for themselves! Who would listen to a contentious person?
Proverbs 3:30 sums all this up: “Do not strive with a man without cause, If he has done you no harm.” It all goes back to our words. They matter!
(https://www.treadingwatertiljesuscomes.com/2020/07/15/our-words-matter/ ).
“You are snared by the words of your own mouth, you are taken by the words of your mouth.” (Proverbs 6:2) But, “he who guards his mouth preserves his life.” (Proverbs 13:3)
“Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with strife.” (Proverbs 17:1). It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)
Choices
Jesus is our example. He was never contentious. He chose His every word. We would do well to follow the advice of Proverbs 17:28, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Every thought in our head need not come out of our mouth. In this world of chaos, confusion, anger, and hostility we would be wise indeed to think long and hard about the impact of our words on a situation. Will our words bring peace or greater strife? Can we be different?
Yvonne Jones
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